


i want us, i want tough (i want the late night fights about trust)

by thegirlinthedress



Category: Sugar Pine 7 RPF
Genre: M/M, this is my mostly canon compliant au where parker and cib are dating, you can pry the supernatural plotline still being canon out of my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 03:17:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlinthedress/pseuds/thegirlinthedress
Summary: “Why?” Parker asks, “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on or where you’ve been?” Every bit of the frustration he’s been bottling up for weeks leaks into his voice, “Why do you keep shutting me out?”Cib steps into the apartment, and then closes the door behind him when Parker doesn’t move to kick him out. The rational part of Parker’s brain wonders if Cib is worried he’ll storm out again.“Parker” Cib says, “I’m sorry, but I really don’t want you involved in this.”“Why?” Parker replies, and he’s afraid that he already knows what the answer is - that he was right and Cib does think their relationship is a horrible mistake.





	i want us, i want tough (i want the late night fights about trust)

**Author's Note:**

> the s3 finale had a significant lack of parcib so i'm making my own content
> 
> not beta read so all mistakes are my own, i wrote it pretty quickly
> 
> obligatory 'this is a work of fiction about the fictional characters sp7 play, steven suptic if you're reading this close the tab and let me project onto parker in peace' disclaimer 
> 
> (title comes from 'i want us' by the roads below)

Parker makes it down one flight of stairs after storming out of his apartment before his anger fades as quickly as it had flared up. He’s too embarrassed to go back to his apartment, so he keeps walking. He can feel his cheeks grow warm as he replays the last few moments before he left his apartment. 

 

While he regrets yelling at his friends, he also can’t say it wasn’t entirely unjustified. He still puts up with a lot from them, but he’s also done being the world’s biggest doormat. It’s one of those rare occasions where he’s pushed too far and actually finds the strength to stand up for himself.

 

It’s not a total surprise that his anger has boiled over and spilled out, because he’s been bottling things up for weeks. At least being angry would stop him feeling hurt, at least temporarily. 

 

Parker’s known Jeremy for a while, so it hurts to be thrown aside like Jeremy never cared about him. Even though it’s clear there are other things going on with Jeremy, Parker’s been burned before. He’s used to his life being a constant cycle of him caring more about someone than they do for him. 

 

Jeremy might’ve been the final trigger for Parker’s outburst, but he’s by no means the only person Parker is annoyed with. He and Cib aren’t fighting, but they also aren’t doing much talking in general. Cib’s been distant because of the mess with Michael. Parker doesn’t actually know the full story, because Cib dodges the question whenever he asks about it. 

 

Even though he knows Cib has a lot going on, he can’t help the nagging anxiety in his mind that there’s  _ another _ reason Cib has been so distant. When he’s alone in the dark and sleep eludes him, Parker is forced to admit that he’s scared out of his mind that Cib is about to break up with him. That the distance between them is because Cib’s realised he’s made a terrible mistake in dating Parker. 

 

He’d thought it was a good sign when Cib asked to use his apartment so Sugar Pine 7 could strategise, because it meant he’d get to spend time with Cib. Parker had also hoped it meant that the Michael situation would be over soon. 

 

However, they’d made him sit outside while they had their meeting. Parker wants to be the supportive boyfriend, but it’s hard when Cib seems determined to shut him out. 

 

-

 

He walks for a while, no real direction in mind. It hadn’t taken long for him to realise he’s left his phone and keys behind, and he doesn’t dare go back to his apartment until he can be sure his friends aren’t still there. He’d have to wait around for someone to let him back in anyway.

 

When he does get back to his apartment, it’s empty. Parker is surprised to find that he feels a mixture of relief and disappointment. It’s not out of character for his friends to forget about him, but he’s been holding onto a small piece of hope that one of them might’ve waited around for him. 

 

He finds his phone where he left it, and turns it on. There are no notifications, and he can’t help the way his heart sinks. He wonders if he should call Cib, but thinks better of it. Even though he knows Cib is busy caught up in Steven and James’ mess, the lack of contact initiated by him still hurts. 

 

Parker’s strength from earlier in the day has fizzled away to nothing. If he’s right and Cib is about to break up with him, he finds himself taking the cowardly option and putting it off for as long as possible.

 

-

 

It’s a weight off his mind when he talks to Jeremy on the phone and they clear the air. Parker’s been tense over it for far too long. He’s glad he won’t lose Jeremy after all. He feels the temptation to shed a few tears, but holds it at bay because he doesn’t want to overwhelm Jeremy’s newfound tolerance for emotion. 

 

However, his relief is short lived. He realises that the noise in the background is gunfire at the same time that Jeremy confirms it. There’s a lot of it.

 

Things get worse when he hears another voice in the background of the call, because it means Cib is there too. He can’t quite make out what Cib is saying, but he does hear Jeremy’s reply.

 

“If Cib’s there, let me talk to him” Parker says, but it’s unclear if Jeremy hears him. The gunfire is significantly louder, and Jeremy is on the move. “Jeremy, I need to talk to him.”

 

Parker knows Cib doesn’t have the greatest sense of self preservation during his day to day life, so Parker worries immensely about Cib walking in the middle of a firefight. If Cib is there then Steven and James can’t be far away, and the worry about any of them getting hurt gnaws at his gut. 

 

“Jeremy?” Parker asks, but the call hangs up and he’s left talking to no one. Jeremy doesn’t pick up when Parker calls him back. He tries to ward of the panic attack he can feel coming.

 

Hands shaking, he pulls up Cib’s contact and hits the call button. It rings all the way through, and he hangs up once Cib’s cheesy voicemail starts. 

 

Panic increasing, he calls Steven, who also doesn’t pick up. Normally this wouldn’t be out of the ordinary, because Steven rarely returns his calls, but it still increases his uneasiness. James yields the same result as Steven and Cib. As a last resort, Parker finds Jamie’s number and calls that. He knows before it happens that he’s not going to get through. 

 

Parker sits down and forces himself to steady his breathing. His first instinct is to go out and look for the others, to help them in some way, but he has no clue where to start. They could be anywhere in LA. All he has to go on is Michael’s name, and that won’t get him anywhere if the boys have gone to ambush his secret hideout. 

 

Eventually, he has to accept the realisation that all he can do is wait. He hopes that one of them will think to call him. His best bet is probably Jeremy, because they were mid conversation. Given how things have been, he’s not sure Cib will even want to speak to him.

 

-

 

At one point, he turns on the TV just for some background noise. The silence in the room only gives his overactive imagination the opportunity to run wild. He needs something to drown out the worst case scenarios rushing through his mind.

 

However, the TV turns out to only fuel the fire. There’s a story on the news about a warehouse explosion in LA. Parker fumbles for the remote to turn it off, feeling physically ill. There are several million people in LA, so the chance of that being where Cib and the others are is slim, but it’s still a possibility. 

 

He keeps his phone close at hand. Maybe if he stares at it long enough, he can will it to ring and give him good news.

 

-

 

After hours of feeling like he’s going to actually pass out from worrying so much, Parker is startled by a knock at the door. He’s frozen in place, because a wave of dread spreads across his body as his mind jumps to the worst possible scenario. 

 

He can’t face it if whoever is on the other side of the door is about to bring bad news. And it must be bad news, the voice in his mind argues, because otherwise Cib would’ve called by now. 

 

The knocking gets more insistent. Parker’s brain battles it out between answering the door because leaving the person out there isn’t polite, and putting off the bad news as long as possible. 

 

“Parker!” Cib’s voice yells, cutting through the haze of panic that has enveloped his mind. Parker can’t believe what he’s hearing. 

 

On autopilot, he’s across the room and throwing the door open before he can think about it. Cib stands on the other side, hand raised like he was planning on knocking again. He looks a little worse for wear, but he’s there and that’s enough for Parker. 

 

He’s so relieved that Cib is alive and in front of him that Parker throws his arms around his boyfriend before his brain catches up and he remembers he’s mad at Cib. His mind flashes up a memory of Parker hugging Cib the first time he’d properly seen him after he’d come back to life. He should’ve been angry then too, just like he should be now. Parker stays in the hug anyway, and he feels Cib’s arms wrapping around his back. 

 

Neither of them says anything for a moment as they hold each other tight. Eventually, Parker unwinds his arms and pulls back just far enough that he can look Cib in the eyes. There’s a slightly lost look in them that Parker has seen before, and his heart aches for Cib. 

 

_ Are you okay? _ he wants to ask, but can’t make his mouth work. He’s not sure Cib would give him an honest answer anyway. Parker has no idea where they stand with each other anymore. The only thing stopping his brain barrelling down the road of panic about that is that Cib is  _ here _ and that he’d hugged Parker back. 

 

“I’m okay” Cib says, and he’s staring at Parker intensely. Parker wears his heart on his sleeve most of the time, so he wonders if Cib knows what else he’s thinking. “Steve and James and Jeremy are okay. Jamie’s in the hospital, he got handsy with a grenade, but he’ll be okay.”

 

While he’d been most worried about Cib, it’s still a relief to hear that everyone else is alright. He’s had enough distance to be somewhat embarrassed about his outburst, and it would’ve been terrible if it had been the last thing he’d said to any of his friends. He’s made peace with Jeremy, but at some point he’ll have to face James and Steven. 

 

“We took care of Michael” Cib continues, and the lack of elaboration makes it seem even more ominous. 

 

Parker swallows and finally finds his voice, “Does ‘taken care of’ mean you did something that might get you arrested?” 

 

“It’s better that you don’t know” Cib tells him, his eyes breaking contact with Parker’s and darting away. 

 

A spark of anger flickers up inside Parker again, and he steps back away from Cib. Even after everything, Cib is still keeping him at arm’s length and Parker can’t figure out  _ why _ . 

 

“Why?” Parker asks, “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on or where you’ve been?” Every bit of the frustration he’s been bottling up for weeks leaks into his voice, “Why do you keep shutting me out?”

 

Cib steps into the apartment, and then closes the door behind him when Parker doesn’t move to kick him out. The rational part of Parker’s brain wonders if Cib is worried he’ll storm out again. 

 

“Parker” Cib says, “I’m sorry, but I really don’t want you involved in this.”

 

“Why?” Parker replies, and he’s afraid that he already knows what the answer is - that he was right and Cib does think their relationship is a horrible mistake. 

 

Cib’s eyes sweep the apartment, searching for a safer topic. They land on the blanket Parker abandoned.

 

“Did you and Jeremy make up?” he asks, looking back at Parker.

 

“Yes” Parker replies, “You know that, I heard you on the phone.”

 

It had felt good to clear the air with Jeremy. He’d finally been able to breathe again after they actually talked out their problem, instead of spending his time deep in anxiety that everyone he cared about was tired of him. Which meant that, if his fears were true and Cib was going to break up with him, Parker needed to face it and get it over with. 

 

“I know what you’re doing” Parker says. It’s a testament to how much he’s grown as a person that he has the strength to look Cib in the eye instead of dodging this confrontation. “If you want to break up with me just do it. You don’t need to drag it out and push me away anymore.”

 

Cib gapes at him, and it isn’t the reaction Parker was expecting. 

 

“You want to break up?” Cib asks, and he sounds hurt. It sends Parker reeling, because Cib isn’t following the script Parker wrote when he imagined this conversation. 

 

“No!” Parker spits out, because he doesn’t. Not counting the immediate few weeks before, Parker’s been happier with Cib than he’s ever been with anyone else. “But I thought you did. Because you don’t tell me anything anymore. And I never see you. And I thought that you thought this was a mistake-”

 

In hindsight, it’s a small mercy that Cib cuts him off before he can really start rambling.

 

“Parker” Cib says, “I’m not breaking up with you.” After a pause, he adds, “Unless that’s what you want.”

 

“I don’t” Parker replies. 

 

“But you think I do?”

 

“Well, yeah” Parker says, “You’ve gone through this huge thing with Michael and the channel and everything, but you won’t tell me anything. Like you don’t want me involved in your life.”

 

“I didn’t want you involved in this” Cib tells him, “because I didn’t want you getting hurt.”

 

It’s not the answer Parker is expecting, so he just stares at Cib while he tries to find a suitable response. Cib’s not usually a serious person, but his mouth is set in a hard line.

 

“You saw what happened to Mimi” Cib goes on, “Michael blew up our office, he didn’t even care she was in there. I had to keep you away so he wouldn’t hurt you to get to the channel.”

 

“Cib” Parker says, “I’m not a child. I can take care of myself.” 

 

He appreciates Cib’s concern, but he doesn’t need to be protected while everyone else puts themselves in danger to save the channel. 

 

“You already got hurt because of me” Cib says, eyes fixed on the floor, “You  _ died _ , Parker, because of  _ me _ . They had guns today, and I wasn’t going to lead you to your death again.” He heaves out a deep sigh, and his voice wavers as he goes on, “I can’t deal with that again. It hurt enough the first time. Before I knew I loved you.”

 

“And I love you too” Parker replies. The words fall out of his mouth too easily. It takes him a moment to realise it’s the first time they’ve said it out loud. He files that freak out away in the back of his mind because he doesn’t have time to deal with it. “But how do you think I’d feel if you got hurt and I didn’t know about it?”

 

“At least you’d be alive” Cib replies.

 

“You could’ve died today” Parker tells him, “You could’ve been shot or blown up, and the last thing you would’ve heard from me would’ve been me yelling at you. How do you think I’d feel then?”

 

“I’m sorry” Cib says, taking a step to close the gap between them. Parker takes a step forward to meet him. “For shutting you out.”

 

“I forgive you” Parker replies, “Just like I forgave you for last summer, so you’re not allowed to feel guilty about that anymore.”

 

Their relationship can only continue to grow if they don’t have Cib’s guilt hanging over it. Parker hopes he can learn to let it go. 

 

Cib pulls him into another hug, somehow tighter than the last one. When they pull back, Parker gives him what he hopes is a reassuring smile. 

 

“You can’t protect me from everything, so let me help” Parker says, “This Michael thing is over, but there’ll be something else that comes along soon. Don’t push me away when it does.” 

 

“Okay” Cib replies, “You’re stuck with me now.”

 

“Good” Parker says. While they’re on a roll with the healthy communication thing, he has something else he wants to get off his chest, “And I’m sorry. For yelling at you.”

 

“I think we sort of earned it” Cib replies, “And you stood up for yourself. That’s very big. I’m proud of you.”

 

Parker doesn’t want to leave Cib’s side to go find another blanket, so they end up huddled together under the one Parker had left out. Their legs are tangled together as Cib starts to nod off on Parker’s shoulder. 

 

He knows they’ll both regret falling asleep on the couch when they wake up with a pain in the neck, but he can’t bring himself to care. It’s worth it to stay in the moment with just the two of them a little longer. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm amyjake and parcibs on tumblr, please come talk to me about anything parker related


End file.
